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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?